The Untold Tale of Pyro
My name is Pyroïs, but my friends call me Pyro and I am a
stallion with a mane and wings as bright as gold. I am extremely strong and
when I get excited fire escapes my chest with every breath I take. I want to
tell you a story that my friends Eoüs, Aethon, Phlegon, and I usually get a lot
of grief over. This is the story of Phaethon and the Sun.
(What Pyro could look like found on Pinterest) |
Phaethon was the son of Phoebus, the
god of the sun. We have a regular job in which we pull the chariot of Phoebus and the sun behind us every day. The pay is great and we are treated like royalty
most days. However, Phoebus had a son that was half mortal and he was tired of
being teased by his friends when he would say that his father was Phoebus. So
Phaethon decided to come to the house of our master and, of course being his
father, Phoebus felt that he owed him a gift. He made an oath upon the river Styx that he would give him whatever he asked… and that is where this story
takes a turn for the worse.
My friends and I were having our
morning brew preparing ourselves for another long day at work and we walked out
to our stations. I took the lead as any other day, the servants placed harnesses over
us, and the doors opened up for us to start the day. We pulled the chariot and
began our ascent into the sky. Usually Phoebus does a phenomenal job of
keeping us on the right path, because as you can imagine it is incredibly
difficult to focus all of our attention and strength to pull the sun across the
sky. However, this day was strangely different. My friends and I could not feel
the weight of Phoebus in the chariot and we couldn’t turn our heads to look due
to the harnesses. We began to worry as we neared the constellations, because
the only thing we could hear was Scorpio laughing as it prepared to attack my
friends and me. Usually Phoebus would guide us just outside of Scorpio’s reach,
but Scorpio promised that one day he would catch us and that the world would be
thrown into perpetual darkness.
(Phaethon and the Chariot) |
Naturally, we wanted to save our
lives because without us there would be no other mythical being in the universe
that could pull the sun across the sky, not even the Great Zeus. We
descended rather rapidly, but unfortunately we were far too close
to the earth. All I can remember is the horrifying screech of the Earth as she
began to burn, and I remember I felt as if the fire in my stomach was going out
due to the pain I felt for the Earth. We did not know what to do and
we feared that the end of everything that depended on the warmth and energy of the sun was near, until I saw a bright flash of
lightning and when I looked down I saw young Phaethon falling to the ground.
Zeus then guided us to the end of our journey, but I knew that we would be
blamed for the tragedies that occurred that day.
(Fall of Phaethon) |
Phoebus mourned the loss of his son
and he blamed us for it. He beat us for hours that day and every day for the
next week. I will never understand the logic of parents who believe their
children are completely faultless. Phoebus’ son was a reckless young man who could
not guide my friends and me through our daily path. We tried our best to follow
the path without guidance, but we had to avoid the dangerous pincers of Scorpio, pull the sun on our backs, and hear the screams of the earth simultaneously. We must
now live with the blame for the rest of eternity, but I wanted to share my
story with you so that you could understand that it was Phaethon's fault that this situation occurred. However, I believe that the most blame lies with our master Phoebus for his inability to deny his son the privilege of leading my friends and me across the sky knowing that an event like this was inevitable without him leading.
Author’s
Note:
I focused my story around Phaethon and the Sun, but I chose to place it
in the perspective of the mythical horses. I chose this style of writing
because when you read the story you immediately believe that the horses caused everything.
However, people overlook how difficult a task they performed everyday
and the necessity of someone guiding them as they pulled the immense sun. The
original story focused around young Phaethon trying to prove to his friends
that he was the son of the god Phoebus. He travels to Phoebus’ kingdom and
after a discussion with his father Phoebus promises to fulfill any wish he asks
of. Of course, Phaethon asks to be in charge of his chariot for the day and
ignored all opposition from his father of the dangers. Phoebus could not refuse
his son and placed him on the chariot. Phaethon could not handle the fear that
came from the height of the journey and the menacing stance of Scorpio. The
horses could not feel the guidance of the reins and made their own path
resulting in the burning of the earth and cities. Zeus luckily saved the day by
killing Phaethon and bringing the horses to the end of their journey. However,
Phoebus was extremely upset and it is said that he did not bring the sun the
next day. I focused on the main character being Pyro, because of the name's relation to English words like pyromaniac and pyrotechnics and the fact that the horse was in charge of leading a ball of fire (our sun) across the sky.
Bibliography:
“Phaethon and the Sun” by Publius Ovidius Naso, from Ovid’s Metamorphoses I.
Translated by A.S. Kline (2000) Web Source
This choice of storyteller is EXCELLENT, Justin! The Greeks were really crazy about horses (including talking horses: the horses of Achilles in the Iliad have the gift of speech!), so that is so appropriate here — not only are the horses an incredibly important part of the story to begin with, as you point out in the note, they really do make a perfect storyteller choice for a Greek myth. It is fascinating to think what kind of judgment the horses would pass on human behavior, especially foolish behavior, like the boastful Phaethon.
ReplyDeleteWhat I liked best is how you really put us in the horses' point of view, like the way they could not even look back to see what was going wrong, but they knew something really must be wrong... and they realized their own lives were at risk — that is so intense! Ovid is a very vivid and detailed writer, but put into first-person like this, it becomes even more vivid: fire in the stomach! What a metaphor! And then, oh my gosh, when Phoebus takes his anger out on the horses at the end: he should have known better... and you have given Pyro a chance to tell his side of the story. The power of the first-person style comes through even more clearly when we can compare the summary in the note with your version of the story as told by Pyro.
So, this is a perfect example of why this class is such a great experience for me as a teacher: I've known the story of Phaethon for decades, I've been reading Ovid since I studied him in college 30 years ago... but I never once stopped to think about what that story was like from the perspective of the horses. Now with this story you have made Pyro a real character for me, and I will think of him now whenever I encounter this story again! Fantastic!!!
I love the direction you took this story! I have heard it before, and it was really creative to use the perspective of the horses. They are such a huge part of the story, and it is really easy to imagine the fear they must have felt about flying to close to Scorpio. The part about them not being able to look behind them to see what was going on was really creative, as well.
ReplyDeleteYou made such a great point about parents tending to assume their child was not at fault. I think this is a theme that can be seen throughout so many different tales, but rarely is the senselessness of this called into such question as in your story!
I really liked that you chose to write this story in the horses' point of view! This definitely puts the story into a different light in that the horses were merely acting by instinct, because after all, they are animals (as animal as they can get even though they breathe fire). I also liked your use of metaphors in order to paint a clearer picture of the story's setting and characters. Great job!
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite things to do on my down time is to read up on ancient greek mythology. I really enjoy this story for that reason. I also enjoyed that you put it in perspective of the horses instead of the half god that ruined half of earth. You did a great job of giving Pyro a personality that told his innocent view of the story but sticking to the actual stories plot. I like how you gave the horses a reason for flying too close to Earth. One thing that could be added to the story is perhaps telling why they did not pull the son the day after the incident. Also you could have said a little more about Zeus and how he was notified of the burning earth. The story was very well plotted out and retold in the altered perspective. I thoroughly enjoyed reading.
ReplyDeleteI contemplated telling the parts about Zeus, but I wanted to focus on what Pyro knew and he had no idea that Zeus was gonna help. As for the part about the sun not being out the next day I felt that it was best to just end it with the abuse so that the readers would be in shock.
DeleteI did enjoy your story very much. I like the way you put in Greek mythology and the story was well written and exciting. I did keep mixing up Phoebus and Phaethon since their names are similar. It was nice to keep it in the perspective of the horses since it give insight on what they saw and felt versus Phoebus. It gave the moral of parents letting their kids do whatever instead of taking it one step at a time and look where it got him. I felt like it is a solid story with the characters, setting, and word choice. I do look forward to reading more of your stories since I’m a sucker for Greek mythology.
ReplyDeleteHey Justin, I really found your story to be interesting and enjoyed every last bit of it. I like how you were able to come up with the idea of having the story told in the stallion’s point of view. This really helped me getting a better feel of a different side of the story as a reader. It helps me reflect on the different perspectives there is to a story. In this particular story I like how you are able to prove how the stallions have a great responsibility as is to pull the chariot and that not having guidance was just to much for them. I also liked ho you changed the story to how Phoebus blamed it on the stallions rather than on Zeus. Overall good job on writing the story I really enjoyed it!
ReplyDeleteHey Justin,
ReplyDeleteGreat job on getting stuff done early! I'm still on the struggle bus turning everything in.
I love your writing style! It was very easy to follow. I also like the images you show. It really adds more to the story. I have a few suggestions for you. I would maybe space out your paragraphs more. I would also maybe add a little more dialogue. More dialogue allows the reader to connect with the characters more. Overall though, you are doing great! Keep up the good work!
I really enjoyed reading this story!
ReplyDeleteI like how you really brought these characters to life. You made these ancient characters feel more modern and relateable with sentences like saying it's their job and the "pay if good"!
I do suggest seperating this story into paragraphs, and varying paragraph length.
I also suggest adding dialogue. Examples:
"Oh no, what's happening?" Pheobus yelled.
"The world will be put into perpetual darkness," Scorpio replied.
Remember to seperate dialogue into seperate paragraphs like that. But, do you see how having the charactrs say what's happening, etc adds something interesting to the mix?
I think since you have really made some great characters from the one from the myths, adding dialogue will seal the deal! But really, great job!
Hi, Justin. I really enjoyed your story and the way you told it. I think your perspective and the way of telling the story was very interesting and nice to read. I was interested in reading every last sentence. I think the gods are very intertsting topic and make for a good story. I think all the pictures are really nice and add a great detail to your stories. I never use more than one picture and really like that you did. Maybe I will add more from now on. I think the picture really add a nice element of detail and help the reader understand the story more. I really like your story and enjoy reading it. I think your really good at writing and made the story very interesting. I didn’t read the original but I really like your version of it. Good job on this one!
ReplyDeleteHey Justin! I enjoyed your story this week. I think the pictures you chose were excellent. All of them gave me great visuals while reading the story. I really liked that the story was told from Pyro's perspective. I've never read the original story, but I like stories that offer a new perspective of a well-known event. There are so many mythological stories that blur together, but I think you did a good job of making this one stand out. I think adding in dialogue and breaking the paragraphs into smaller sections would make it easier to read, but that's just a personal preference. I think it would be very interesting to see a discussion between Pyro and his friends. Were Pyro and his friends punished? Or did they just have to live with ridicule for the accident for the rest of eternity? Your author's note did a great job of explaining the original story and going into detail about the changes you made. Overall, I think you did a great job and I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future!
ReplyDeleteMan awesome story! I mean holy crap that was entertaining! Justin good work. First, the story was the perfect length, It wasn't too long. This is because you wrote action constantly into the story. This is the most intriguing part of the story to me.
ReplyDeleteThe action to me was the unpredictability of the plot. I spent more time wondering what was going to happen. It wasn't confusing though! It is really hard to keep an audience guessing and keep their attention as well. When you revealed the action, it was surprising too! I never thought any events would play out like they did. So, this also has to do with the genre. Good pick! I can see the story choice really helped you a ton.
Lastly, I like how you broke all of the text up. You used great visuals that really aided picturing the of the story. Good work!
Hey Justin,
ReplyDeleteHey Justin,
Sweet storytelling! It took me a second to catch on and get all the characters name straight. Once, I did I enjoyed the story. I didn't connect either right away that the son asked to drive for a day. It might have helped if you included the argument between the father and son. I thought the story would be just about those characters in the first paragraph. Yet, it was about the son more than the other horses. Your picture selection is amazing. That was a really awesome depiction of the horse.
This is an interesting story because of a number of things. One of them being the choice that Zeus made to save the horses. What if he had gotten help to save the son as well? What's the background with Scorpio? I am from the other class and haven't read into greek mythology. I enjoyed your telling.
Hello Justin,
ReplyDeleteFirst I want to say congratulations on being one of the nominated projects! I nominated you and I was so glad to see that others had thought the same about your project. It is honestly really great. As we end this class we had to come to comment on three. I knew that I had visited some of your stories in your project but I had not gotten a chance to look at them all so I took to time to make sure that I had read them all. You are such a creative and excellent writer! I loved all the action that was going on in the story and you kept me on edge throughout the whole thing. Sometimes I can tell where is a story is going but your story I was not able to tell and I really enjoyed that mystery in trying to figure out what your next sentence would be. I really like the perspective that you told this story in. I am glad that I cam back. You have done an excellent job this semester. I wish you the best.